Understanding neurodivergent communication

An open chest with colours coming out and a symbol on the front.

Who is this advice for?

The following resources may be useful for children and young people who have a diagnosis of autism / on the waiting list for an autism assessment / or who associate with being autistic. It might also be helpful for children who present with social communication differences but do not necessarily associate with being autistic.

How will this advice support my child? 

(Setting staff can use this wording to write targets)     

These resources will help your child to:

  • understand that different people have different communication styles, and no one communication style is better than the other 
  • understand what neurotypical and autistic communication styles might look like 

We no longer support traditional “social skills groups” which taught children that their way of communicating was wrong and must change. Instead, it is important that they learn that their style of communication is different and valid, not wrong. It is also important to educate those around the child/young person about differences in neurodivergent communication style. 

Resources within this section can be used in conjunction with supporting the child/young person’s self-advocacy skills. It’s important for children and young people to be supported to ask for what they need and to feel confident and empowered to share what’s important to them. 

Please see the relevant section below for further support:

Self-advocacy for those who are non-speaking or minimally speaking 

Self-advocacy for those who are using language

Advice

Support your child to connect with others during play

Webinar: Facilitating play with peers  

  

Select 'Youtube' to enable full screen.

'Facilitating play with peers' webinar: Watch this 12 minute webinar to learn how to help your child connect with others during play.

Download the 'Facilitating play with peers' advice sheet: Learn how to help your child to connect with others during play. Remember, it is important that we understand, value and accept all play styles (and communication styles!). 

Support and accept different play styles

Webinar : Understanding and supporting different play styles   

  

Select 'Youtube' to enable full screen.

'Understanding and supporting different play styles': Watch this 6 minute webinar to learn to understand and support different play styles. And, how to support others to value your child’s play styles and preferences.

Download the Understanding and supporting the different play styles advice sheet: Learn to understand and support different play styles. And, how to support others to value your child’s play styles and preferences  

Support children when misunderstandings occur - double empathy

Double empathy problem: this describes how difficulties in communication are not purely down to the autistic person’s communicative style. It is the mis-match between neurotypical and neurodivergent communication that may cause difficulty. 

Try and support the young person to repair a misunderstanding when it happens by modelling language they could use, for example “I don’t understand X, please can you tell me in a different way?”

Find out more about the Double Empathy problem:

'Double Empathy' - Autism Understood (contains a short video). 

“Differences in Autistic and NT communication styles” — Neurowild 

A 9-page infographic detailing common differences between autistic and neurotypical communication styles. This paid for resource gives more detailed info about the double empathy problem, and highlights how/why miscommunication occurs so often between autistic and neurotypical people.  

 

Understanding neurodivergent communication

Mindmate’s neurodivergent characteristics  

The sections explain the wide range of characteristics that neurodivergent individuals may experience differences, strengths and challenges in. Each section includes information on what the characteristic is, what differences you may notice and support strategies/information.  

Courses for children and young people aged 7-16 to understand their autism diagnosis.

'My World and Me', 'Understanding my autism', 'Autism and Me'   

  • Connect with other autistic people
  • Learn what it means to be autistic
  • Learn strategies to help support themselves

The Toolbox has developed these courses in partnership with NHS and Hertfordshire County Council.

 

For younger children

Amazing things happen:  Watch this 4 minute introductory YouTube video about autism, which may be helpful to share. It can help family members and peers become more aware of life from an autistic person’s perspective  

Pablo:  CBeebies children’s programme “Pablo” uses short animations with his friends to help understand what it means when someone has Autism. Pablo creates imaginary friends, who come to life and together go on fun adventures which help them understand and cope with day-today situations. There are many episodes available on iPlayer covering a range of day to day activities.

Pablo CBeebies: Further 'Pablo' themed resources are available on this webpage. 

Talking to your child about autism - CBeebies : Contains ideas for talking about autism to younger neurodivergent and neurotypical children after watching Pablo.  

'12 Fast Facts about Autism: Watch this 10 minute video to learn how to understand and support autistic children and young people in neurodiverse affirming ways. Useful for children, young people, parents/carers and setting staff. 

For older children

Autism Understood: A website about autism, for autistic young people, written by autistic people: this website can help everyone gain a better understanding of what autism is.

National Autistic Society “Know Yourself” series: A set of free resources which includes videos and downloadable guides aiming to support teenagers to understand what being autistic means.   

Difference not Deficit -Autism Education Trust: Watch this 4 minute education video which explains why autism is a difference not a deficit.

What is Autism? | Autism Education Trust: Browse this website for further information about autism from the Autism Education Trust.

'Welcome to The Toolbox': The Toolbox provides online support for neurodivergent children and young people.  This includes livestreams where their team play games whilst answering questions about neurodiversity and live chats to talk about understanding emotions, social skills, relationships, coping with sensory sensitivities and so on.